Eridan's Ark
by musicalBlink
Summary: "The apocalypse will come in the form of rain. Hopefully, it'll drown everyone except for you and the other eleven I have chosen for you to bring. The twelve of you are to steal your father's ship/boat-thingy and head out to sea. You are to leave your parents to die." Humanstuck Triggers include but are not limited to: Karkat, Gamzee, character death, normal Homestuck stuff
1. THE HUSS HAS SPOKEN!

**Hey there, y'all! It doesn't feel right for me to not have a multi-chapter fic goin on at all times so I'm startin this now despite the fact that I JUST finished Fluffy Stuffy recently. I'll warn ya now about OOCness because im trying to push myself to write for characters I usually avoid doing dialogue with. For example: Eridan. Hope ya like it despite its potential shityness. Tell me what ya think. Please follow/favorite/review. And... Yeah.**

Eridan's POV

My name is ERIDAN AMPORA. I love to hang out at the BEACH in my free time because my DAD has dropped me off at the beach near his WORK PLACE since I started GRADE SCHOOL. I am a tall, fourteen year-old FRESHMAN. I am fond of COFFEE and SCARVES. I wear blak-rimmed GLASSES because I have very bad vision, though most people assume it is because I am a HIPSTER.

It was two thirty in the morning and I was at the beach swimming by myself as I oft times do when I can't get to sleep. I was contentedly enjoying the feeling of the lukewarm water against my skin when I heard a deep, booming voice come from the sky.

"Eridan!" its voice seemed to be loud enough to be heard from the other side of the planet.

I hurriedly looked around me trying to find the source of the mysterious voice.

"W-who the fuck are you?" I cursed myself for stuttering.

"I am Andrew Hussie. You must do as I say or you will suffer the consequences."

Normally, if someone said something like this, I would roll my eyes and tell them to go fuck themselves. But this was a mysterious voice calling itself Andrew Hussie, and the fact that I couldn't find the source of the voice was seriously freaking me out.

"W-well, w-what the fuck do you w-want? My first born child?" That's what most evil, all powerful guys want in old stories right?

"What makes you think I want some little brat? No. This is what you're gonna do: you're gonna get eleven people from your school together-"

"But. I don't ev-ven _like_ that many people at my school."

"LET ME FINISH!" he yelled. "You're gonna get eleven people from your school together to survive the apocalypse-"

"Apocalypse? W-what the f-"

"SHUT UP!" the Huss was clearly getting aggravated with me, but I was a bit too caught up with the whole apocalypse thing to actually give two shits.

"But w-wha-"

"Shoosh."

"But-"

"Shoosh."

"B-"

"I SAID SHOOSH!" He waited a moment. "The apocalypse will come in the form of rain. Hopefully, it'll drown everyone except for you and the other eleven I have chosen for you to bring. The twelve of you are to steal your father's ship/boat-thingy and head out to sea. You are to leave your parents to die."

"And w-why the fuck should I believ-ve you?"

"Do you want to die?"

"No..."

"Then you'll do what I say." he said matter-of-factly. "As for the eleven you must bring, here are their names..."

After he told me the names, I had half a mind not to bother.

**How do you Hussie? **


	2. DO YOU LIKE PINA COLADAS?

**I've never mentioned this for any of my other stories but I guess I'm supposed to put a disclaimer up here... So yeah. I'm not the Huss. Just a bored teenage girl with nothing better to do on snow days.**

Feferi's POV

My name is FEFERI PEIXES. I can often be found at the BEACH with my best friend ERIDAN. I'm a pretty tall FRESHMAN. I love CUTTLEFISH and other AQUATIC ANIMALS so much that I normally use FISH PUNS in every day conversation. I hope to be a MARINE BIOLOGIST when I grow up.

I was in the middle of this bizarre, yet peaceful dream in which there were many cuttlefish and odd, squid-like stuffed animals, when I became aware of this annoying noise in the background. I tried to ignore it by humming this song about piña coladas that was stuck in my head, but the noise just became louder and louder until there was no choice other than surfacing to consciousness.

_RINGRING RINGRING RINGRING RINGRING RINGRI-_

I picked up the phone, pressed call, and put it to my ear. "Shello?"

"Fef, thank cod you answered. Listen-"

"Erifin? Water you calling me this LATE for? It's... Ugh... It's two thirty... In the morning." Hadn't I already explained to him that not everyone stays up at stupid late hours of the night?

"Yeah, I know, Fef, but this is reely important. I promise."

I sighed and started to get dressed. "Meet you at the beach in ten minnowts?"

"I'm already here."

"Sea you soon, then."

I hung up and pocketed my cell phone. I quickly threw on the knee-length white skirt, pink cami, and cream v-neck with "Love" printed on the front in elegant, black cursive that I had been wearing earlier. As quietly as I could, I tiptoed down the stairs to the back door. I slipped on my sneakers and slipped out the door.

Luckily, I lived in a house within walking distance of the spot Eridan and I would usually meet on the beach.

When I arrived, he was there anxiously waiting for me.

"Hey, Erifin."

"Hey, Fef... I'm going to tell you something and I need you to let me tell the entire story w-without any interruptions, okay?" I frowned.

If he's stuttering, then that means he's pretty upset. If he's pretty upset and he's not angry, then he's worried. If he's worried enough to stutter, then I should probably be worried too.

"Okay. Go ahead."


	3. WE CAN MAKE THIS HAPPEN

**I'd like to go ahead and take note now that I'm not going to have Feferi and Eridan making their fish puns when they're being super serious a cuz... Well do you know anyone who'd continuously make jokes when they want to be taken seriously?**

Eridan's POV

After I called Fef, I tried my best to calm down and figure out exactly what it was I was going to say. I know Fef will help me and be there for me no matter what, but that's not going to help anything if she thinks the best way to help me is to drop me off at an asylum.

Hey, Fef, so here's the thing. I was swimming and then I heard this deep voice coming from cod knows where. The voice called itself Andrew Hussie and told me I was supposed to get you, me, and ten other assholes from our school onto my dad's huge boat so that we can survive some sort of flood apocalypse thing and we're supposed to leave anyone and everyone else behind including our parents. Yeah. That won't immediately convince her that I'm out of my fucking mind. But what if I am out of my mind? Maybe I rea-

Feferi's voice startled me out of my thought. "Hey, Erifin."

I took a deep breath. "Hey, Fef... I'm going to tell you something and I need you to let me tell the entire story w-without any interruptions, okay?"

She was quiet for a while, frowning. "Okay. Go ahead."

I opened my mouth to speak and then came to the same problem I had been considering before she got here. What even am I supposed to say? What if she does think I'm crazy?

"You know you can tell me anything, don't you?"

"And you w-won't call me crazy?" I bit my lip.

She nodded and smiled reassuringly at me.

/line break/

You know how crazy my musings about how to tell Feferi sounded? Well I basically ended up saying just that. Oh, cod. I wonder when she'll take me to the Alternian Asylum for the Mentally Sick.

Amazingly, she didn't immediately say I was out of my mind.

"Let me make sure that I completely understand this... Equius and Nepeta, Terezi, Vriska, and Kanaya, Sollux and Aradia, Tavros and Gamzee, Karakt, you, and me are all supposed to steal your dad's boat and hope for the best?"

I nodded. _Please don't think I'm crazy. Please don't think I'm crazy. Please don't think I'm crazy. _

She contemplated this for awhile then spoke again. "Okay... We can make this happen."

My eyebrows didn't raise to my hairline. They must have went way above my hairline like in cartoons.

"Whale think aboat it. I'll go because I'm your best friend. Karkat will come because he's been considering running away for a whale now. Karkat can definitely convince Gamsea to come along. Gamesea would be able to get Tavros to come. Vriska has wanted to be a pirate for as long as I can remember so she'd love the idea no matter what the reelson is. Aradia pretends it doesn't bother her, but we all know she started to bait this town after the accident... Nepeta whale probably think the entire fin sounds like fun and Equius whale stay with Nepeta for shore. Seallux would come because, as he puts it, he "doesn't give two shits about any of the idiots in this town anyways" Terezi could probably be convinced if you told her she could be the head of law enforcement after the apocalypse. And Kanaya would join us to make sure that no one starts fights... Basically to keep Vriska in line."

I just stared at her in shock. "You believe me?"

"Of course I do." She smiled brightly, as usual. "Why wouldn't I?"

Relief washed over me. "Thank cod."

/line break/

Feferi helped me spread word to the others the very next day at school. I don't even know how I would have approached some of them, much less talked to them. I mean, how the fuck are you supposed to invite an asshole like Sollux or a bitch like Vriska to join you to survive the apocalypse? It's simple-you don't. You leave then to die. But according to that Hussie guy (who I was starting to think was an asshole too) said that I wasn't allowed to leave any of the people he mentioned.

So it was Feferi's job to tell Sollux, Vriska, Karkat, and Aradia. Which left Kanaya, Nepeta, and Terezi to me.

At the end of the day, Feferi and I met at the Starbucks to discuss the results of our campaigning.

"Kan, Nep, and Ter said they would come. They actually seemed pretty excited, Nep and Ter especially."

"But did Nepeta say she would bring Equius?"

"She was telling me how excited she was to teach him how to fish, so I'm pretty shore she whale" It was kinda funny how the small girl was acting like Equius had already said yes.

"And I got Seallux, Vriska, Aradia, and Karkat to come too. Karkat said he'd get Gamsea to come and that Gamsea would get Tavros to come. It's perfect!" Feferi beamed excitedly.

"So all we have to do now is get the boat and leave."

"Yeah..." she trailed off looking into her cappuccino thing. "But what about our parents? My mom is a pain, but I don't want her to die."

"Maybe they wouldn't even come if we told them." I felt awful as soon as the words came out of my mouth, but it was too late now. With that in consideration, I continued. "You believe me, but do you really think they'd believe us? We're just kids. They'd pat us on the head and tell us to go on our merry way and play on the beach. They'd tell us that we're imagining things or that it was just a nightmare or whatever." Feferi fell silent.

Insert foot in mouth [here].

"I guess you're right..." she frowned. "Whale, I have to go. Ill sea you tomorrow."

"Sea ya." I watched as she left.

I sighed.


	4. GRUESOME WOUNDS AND WEAPONS

**I've got two special people who deserve glomps and digital cookies: Team Valdez and Kayla-Peixes. Thanks for following and favoriting respectively. CX**

**Let's get this shit on the road.**

Feferi's POV

That night, I lay in my bed wide awake. I was putting on a brave face because it was easy to tell that Eridan needed me to be strong for him, but I wasnt nearly as okay with any of it as I let on. If Eridan was right, then everyone except for Eridan, me, and the ten others at our school were going to die. Our families were going to die. Our various friends were going to die. For that matter, billions of random strangers were going to drown to death. The nice girl at the bakery who gave me a cookie on the house. The polite British exchange student. The nerd who answers all the questions in biology class. The student teacher who recommends amazing books in the library (even if they're a bit wordy). _My mom._ All dead.

But if I didn't stay strong, Eridan wouldn't have been able to get the other ten to get on a boat with him. He just doesn't get along well enough with most people to be able to convince them all. And then what? More people would die because I didn't stay strong.

I groaned and examined the ceiling. All of this was making my head hurt. I decided to push all of this mess aside for now and worry about it in the morning. But right then, I really just needed to get some sleep.

/line break/

Several hours later, I was still just as wide awake and just as worried as I had been earlier. I sighed and got out of bed. I clearly wasn't going to get any sleep that night.

I checked the time on my phone. It was three fourty-seven. Maybe Eridan was awake too...? I sent him a quick text with two words ")(ey, -Erifin." The H on my keyboard had been broken for a few months. I set my phone down on the bed stand and crept downstairs. I sat on the couch and turned on some documentary I wasn't interested in (something about some war WAY before I was born).

I tried to pay attention to the gruesome wounds and weapons, but I just couldn't focus. I gave up on the documentary after ten minutes and went back to my room.

I checked my phone to see if Eridan had answered, and he had.

"Hi, Fef."

")(i. So w)(en do you t)(ink we're going to leave?"

"I don't reelly knoww... Hussie didn't say wwhen."

"W)(ale w)(en do you t)(ink we s)(elld?"

"Isn't shelld a bit of a stretch for should?"

"You're avoiding t)(e question."

"Wwell howw the fuck am I supposed to knoww?"

"Relax. I was just asking."

He didn't text me back for ten minutes.

"I guess sooner is better than later, so... 0100 tomorroww."

"Ocray t)(en. I'll tell t)(e ot)(ers."

"Bye."

"Good bye."


	5. HELL ON EARTH

**I don't know a single damn thing about boats. Not a single damn thing. And I didn't realize how stupidly complicated this crap was until I started doing research earlier today to figure out what kind of boat these guys should be going on. I asked what a good boat would be in a situation for this many people with continuous rain on yahoo answers. I got three replies: Bill Gate's boat, a cruise ship, and a yacht. -_-''**

**Welp, enough about my stupidity. LaInsanoid is the special person of this chapter who deserves glomps and digital cookies**

Karkat's POV

I am KARKAT VANTAS, a short FUCKASS. My interests include very shitty CODING, ROMANCE NOVELS, and DRAWING (preferably with CHARCOAL). I'm a NINTH GRADER; I skipped first grade so I am YOUNGER than most people in my school.

I'm in the process of packing my bag to leave to meet up with a bunch of asshats from school where we're all supposedly stealing Eridan's (*cough cough* fish dick)dad's boat and leaving. I have never been more scared and excited in my entire life for anything, ever. If this isn't some kind of sick joke, I might actually be getting out of this shit hole.

But what if Feferi WAS just fucking with me? Jack, I mean "dad", will probably find out I had tried to run away, and I will be fucked for life. But thinking too hard about this crap isn't going to get me very far. Actually, it'll probably get me caught.

I tense when I hear Jack make a noise in his sleep from where he lays on the couch in the living room. _Please don't wake up._

I throw clothes in the bag without bothering to fold them. I pack my crappy lap top and all the money I have (which isn't much). I put my tooth brush in the side pocket. I stash several of my favorite books in the front pocket. I put a drawing pad and some charcoal in the main pocket with the clothes. After a moment of thought I put some Disney movies in with the drawing pad. You know that Gamzee and Tavros love these things. You'll probably just say you packed them to get the duo to shut the fuck up with their nonsensical, pathetic excuses for rap battles.

I start to zip up my bag, then stop. What if Jack follows me? He'll be infuriated obviously, but what can I do about it? I take my bag and stealthily creep out of my room past my snoring father. I crinkle my nose at the smell of beer, and slip into the kitchen. I grab two rather large knives and tuck them into the backpack underneath the clothes.

He won't catch me by surprise and defenseless.

I wince at the loud noise the zipper makes as I zip it closed. I put the pack on my shoulders and tiptoe past Jack.

I hear a menacing voice from the couch. "Piece of shit." I freeze, my heart in my throat. _Oh, fuck_

I hear a snort and a mutter before all is quiet yet again. I silently thank any gods that may or may not exist for not letting him wake up.

I step out the front door of the house for, hopefully, the last time.

* * *

><p>After an hour walk, I arrive at the beach a little early, 12:00. I set down my backpack and sit up against a boulder marking the entrance. It's too dark to read or draw, so I pull out my craptop and try to put together a somewhat comprehensible code. Within seconds, I'm cussing and grumbling under my breath in frustration.<p>

* * *

><p>I glance at the time on my craptop for the fifth time in the past two minutes. It's 12:30, and, though I hate admitting it, I'm getting pretty worried. I know it's pretty early to be worrying over it since no one was supposed to get here until 1, but I had expected that <em>someone<em> would've come early other than me.

I was on the verge of a panic attack when Gamzee showed up. I tried not to look too relieved by scowling at him. "What the fuck are you even doing here, you fucking dumbass. You didn't have to come until one. Your house isn't even that far from here in the first place. It's probably only a two minute walk for normal people, but with your ridiculously long legs it's probably only like a thirty second walk. You could've waited until 12:59, taken a couple of steps and BAM you have arrived at your fucking destination. But no, you decided to take a left at idiocy and a right at stupidity and arrive twenty minutes early like a fucking retard."

At this point, most people would either completely humiliate me or get pissed off at me, but Gamzee's different. He took all the bull shit I just spouted and smiled at me as if I had just said "Thanks for coming." He spoke in that odd way his voice went back and forth between a deep rumble and cracking every other syllable. "I just wanted to all up and keep my best friend company."

Because he knew that deep down that was what I was thinking, _"I'm so glad you're here." _He knew I wasn't comfortable saying so, and he respected that. Gamzee is one of the few people on this planet that likes me for who I am and didn't mind my rants and insults and would stick with me no matter what.

Or it could be that all of my insults and false anger just go right over his head because of how he's almost constantly high on something. I don't know if it's pills or weed or what, but we have a silent agreement that if he doesn't ask me why I like spending the night at his house so much, that I won't ask him about whatever drugs he's on (cuz there's no doubt that it's something). I generally call it, whatever it is, sopor for simplicity's sake.

We sit there in silence, waiting for the others to arrive. His presence alone has calmed me down, so I am luckily not on the verge of a panic attack when Feferi and Eridan arrive together, talking softly with concerned looks on their faces. They greet us, and we greet them.

Next comes Sollux, then Nepeta and Equius, with the latter giving the former a piggy back ride. Tavros comes after the two of them.

You glance over at Gamzee who has faithfully sat shoulder to shoulder with you this entire time. He's wistfully watching the tenth grader stutter out a hello to Feferi. I roll my eyes. "Go get em, lover boy." He smiles at me reassuringly, then gets up to say hi to his crush, Tavros.

Eventully, I find myself arguing with Sollux about which one of us hates each other/ourselves more. I hardly notice when Aradia, Vriska, Kanaya, and Terezi show up. That is, until Terezi sneaks up on me and licks up my chin, cheek, and forehead. Her tongue momentarily slips into my mouth because I was in the middle of yelling at Sollux when she licked me.

I can already tell this is going to be one hell of a boat ride (read as: hell on Earth).

**Yeah, I know it's been awhile since I updated. I'm sorry. School is a bitch.**


	6. A REALLY BIG COMPANY FOR GUNS

**Holy fuck, you guys really do care with all of y'all's reviewin and favoritin and followin. So, yeah. I've got a bunch a people who deserve glomps and digital cookies: Guest, Team Valdez, guesswhatimahomestuck, GayBabies, and NotaMathAddict.**

**Guest: I might include the dancestors and kids, I might not. You'll just have to read and see. I could do anything with this shit, anything.**

Eridan's POV

Once everyone had arrived at 0200 (hadn't I said 0100? What idiots.), I direct everyone to the dock where my dad's yacht is.

I look at the faces of my peers. I find everything from disbelief (Karkat) to excitement (Nepeta) to feigned boredom (Vriska).

"My dad is the CEO of Ruger." I find myself explaining. I'm met with blank stares."It's a really big company for guns."

"Do you even know how to drive it, fith dick?" And there's the god awful lispy asshole we all hate.

"Of course I do! I know exactly w-what I'm doing. Just get on the fucking boat."

A snort of derision from Sollux. "If it thinkth, it'th your fault."

"W-whatev-ver, Sol."

* * *

><p>I sit at the controls of the boat staring blankly around me. Now what? I wish I knew.<p>

Okay, this can't be but so bad. How hard can it be?

I try to think back to when I was six and dad and I had gone out on the yacht together. I distinctly remember him explaining how to drive it, so why can't I remember any of it? Fuck.

I really don't want to go out there and admit to all of them, especially Sollux that I don't have a single clue what I'm doing, but the longer I look at the controls, the more obvious it becomes that it's the truth.

"Excuse me? Are you having... difficulties with steering the yacht away from the pier?"

I turn away from my silent panicking to see the rather large, sweaty guy (Equius, right?) looking at me Through broken, tinted lenses. Cod, he's creepy as hell.

"W-why are you askin'?"

"Because if you require any assistance, I am willing to provide advice if... You're having trouble remembering."

"Oh," What's more important: ego vs. Sollux or ego vs. creepy, sweaty guy? Is this supposed to be an actual decision? But even then... "Yes, I just need to have my memory refreshed of what's what and such. Then I should have it." I can't help but ask for less than I actually need. In a way, I'm supposed to be in charge. I can't show weakness, not even in front of this socially awkward senior.

Luckily, he sees through my petty want for control, and he shows and tells me everything I could possibly need to know about driving the yacht without making an ass of himself and pointing it out. By the time his lesson is entirely over, we are already far from shore, far from home.

I absent-mindedly thank him, and he dismisses himself at Nepeta's insistent pleas. As I pilot the yacht, I find my thoughts wandering to my dad.

We had grown further and further apart the older I got. As I had become more capable of taking care of myself, he had become more work oriented. My dad has been on a business trip for the past week or so and should still be on his business trip for a week more. He'd probably ever know what happened to me. I find myself wondering whether he would think of me in the first place.

I sigh tiredly. I look out at the stars, shimmering in the sky. Who knows. Maybe dad's looking at the stars right now, too.


	7. DEAD FOR CENTURIES

**Hello, my lovelies. Here I am, back from another week in hell school, ready to do my very damn best to write somethin half decent. Fanction is being a bitch and making the copy and paste box stupidly small, so I'm typin this in OpenOffice. Not sure if that will affect y'all at all, but whatever. **

**My single special person who deserves glomps and digital cookies is *drumroll* LaInsanoid.**

Sollux's POV

I am SOLLUX CAPTOR. I'm a very tall ELEVENTH GRADER, widely known as a LISPY ASSHOLE. I have a love for CODING and little tolerance for ANYHTING ELSE. I tend to be fairly BLUNT and UNCARING when talking to most people. If they LIKE what I say, good. If they DON'T, I don't care. I have a general dislike for most OUTSIDE ACTIVITIES including, but not limited to SPORTS, SWIMMING, and RUNNING.

I don't like school. I don't like Palm Bay, Florida. It's a shit hole, and I've always said I was gonna leave. That's why I wasn't opposed to getting on this boat with eleven other assholes from my school, but I had started to think I had made a mistake once I saw who all was going to be on the boat.

Eridan Ampora. You will not find a more pretentious dick anywhere on the entire fucking planet. Why the fuck didn't ff mention that fish dick would not only be getting on this boat, but was the one who owned it. I know he's her friend, but she knows that I don't like him. Didn't she realize that putting the two of us together in a somewhat crowded area might cause some issues? I guess it would've been okay if ed was the only one I had to worry about, but he's the least of my worries. Being on the boat with Aradia is the worst part.

* * *

><p><em>I'm driving down the street with Aradia in the passenger seat. She's smiling that bright smile of hers, as usual. We were talking about the movie we had just seen, a romcom. This was our eighth date, and I couldn't imagine life without her.<em>_We had been close friends since we were little kids; I could still remember how we had met at some archeology summer camp when I was eight and she was seven._

_She had walked up to me while I was playing on the GameBoy that I had managed to sneak past my mom's watchful eye. She showed me some kind of shell fossil that she had digged up. I hadn't really cared for any of the archeology stuff, but in that moment she managed to make it seem amazing (even though the camp counsellor told us it wasn't actually a fossil, just a normal shell). We had been unseperable since._

_So here we were, eight years later, Aradia riding shot gun. We pulled up to a red light. _

_I looked over at her and smiled. "I love you."_

_The light changed so I pulled out into the intersection to turn. She spoke. "I lo-"_

_Suddenly there was a crash from her side of the car. A blood-curling scream. Glass showered down on us as the car rolled once then landed on the hood. I felt a warm substance roll through my eyes, I wiped it away to find that it was blood. Whimpers of pain. The air bags were out, and the seat belts were locked, but I managed to take off the seatbelt, partially falling onto the glass that littered the inside of the car. I reached over to where Aradia lay limply hanging from the seat belt._

_"AA? Fuck, Aradia, thay thomething." Her whole body was covered with glass, blood, and bruises. Her right arm was bent at an extremely unnatural angle. Blood was streaming from a deep cut on her forehead._

_Damnit, what the fuck had I been thinking when I decided to NOT bring my phone? "Jutht wait, Aradia. I-I'll get help." _

_I had a momentary struggle to get the car door to open, but managed to throw it open. I fell out of the car, face first into the mud. I pulled myself to my feet, then stumbled to the side of the road. I took note of the car that had crashed into us. Everyone looked okay in that car. Maybe they had a phone- anything to get help. I went over to the driver's side and rapped on the window with my knuckles. _

_"Do you have a phone?"_

* * *

><p><em>I was sitting in the lobby, waiting for the doctors to let me see Aradia. I had already been waiting for two hours, and I was dying to make sure she was okay. Sure the doctors had said they would handle it, sure I didn't know jack shit about how to help her, but that didn't mean I didn't want to be at her side the whole time. Eventually, a woman wearing sterile, white clothing came in and told me I could go see her, but that she was unconcious. The woman told me the room number. I raced down the halls, ignoring all the dirty looks I got from the people I was passing. I came to the door, then hesitated. I gently opened the door, and peered in.<em>

_I drifted over to where she was laying on the stiff, hospital bed. She was hooked up to several machines that I was unable to identify. Her skin was so pale, I would've sworn she was dead if it weren't for the beeping that claimed her heart was still beating. I touched the back of her hand, seemingly the only part of her that wasn't in some kind of cast or covered with some kind of gauze. _

_"AA, I'm tho thorry."_

* * *

><p><em>She's in a coma. Four simple words, yet I couldn't understand, couldn't grasp the idea when the doctors told me. That only happens in the movies. It doesn't happen in real life. It can't, not to someone as perfect as Aradia. It just couldn't be.<em>

_She might never awake. Four simple words that seemed too impossible for me to believe. _She had to wake up, didn't she? She couldn't sleep forever. __

__I was so sure that she'd wake up any second, I stayed by her side twenty-four seven. I refused to leave her side, even when the doctor said visiting hours were over, and that only direct relatives of the patient were allowed to stay. I didn't care. I didn't eat for days, until Feferi came to visit and saw the state I was in. I still didn't leave Aradia's side- I refused- but Feferi made sure that I ate at least once a day.__

__Two weeks went by like this where I hopelessly sat by her side, at times begging her to wake up, to say something. __

__I would talk to her, tell her about how much I missed her smile. I'd tell her that she's beautiful the same way I would when she was concious and blushing. I'd beg her to wake up. I'd tell her how worried her parents had been, and that they had visited her every day. I told her that I would never leave her. I vowed to never drive again. I kissed her, gently sweetly. I imagined that she'd wake up in that moment and kiss me back, but she never did. I would hold her hand all night, even on the very few occasions that I slept. I told her that I loved her all the time with a hope in the back of my mind that she'd wake up and finish what she had been saying before the crash. Of course she didn't. I begged her for forgiveness to the point of hysteria, but she never said a word or showed, in any way, that she had heard me.__

__Two weeks. Two weeks I went through hell. But once she woke up, it wasn't what I had imagined it would be. She just... didn't care. I told her everything that I had said while she was unconcious, and none of it mattered to her. She just stared at me blankly with eyes that were once so bright and excited about life, now dull. She seemed to just stare through me as I spoke, as though I were a particularly uninteresting specimen in an experiment.__

__I went from one extreme to another. I stopped all contact with her. I couldn't stand the sight of her anymore. She wasn't alive, not really. Physically, yes. She had over time, made a full recovery. Mentally, she may as well have been dead for centuries.__

__She never did finish saying "I love you.", and I don't think she wanted to anymore either way.__


	8. FISHING STICK

**Fanfiction is still being a bitch and refusing to allow the box to be full size, so this is also in OpenOffice. Just tell me if it's actually screwing anything up, and if it isn't, I won't bother telling y'all anymore. **

**Special people who deserve glomps and digital cookies are: guesswhatimahomestuck, Speretmoon, GamzeeMakaraBardofRage, and solluxlover123. **

Equius' POV 

My name is EQUIUS ZAHHAK, and I'm very STRONG. I have a "queer" adoration of EQUESTRIAN CREATURES and ROBOTICS. My LARGE SIZE tends to scare many of my peers, so I do not have very many FRIENDS. However, that's not so bad, because my close friend, NEPETA, makes up for the lack of QUANTITY in my friendships with the QUALITY in hers. I secretly love MY LITTLE PONY. I am a TALL, MUSCLED SENIOR in high school. I SWEAT in ABNORMAL EXCESS.

As of right now, Nepeta is attempting to teach me how to fish. She is shuffling through a smallish box. Her face lights up with excitement when she finds what she was looking for, a hook. I look at it again and frown.

"I had come to the understanding that you were looking for one hook." I speak hesitantly.

In her hand, she is holding what looks like three hooks combined into one big, hookish thing.

She smiles brightly. "This is clawed a treble hook. It's purrty good for furshing with artifurcial bait."

"I see..." I didn't.

She hands me a fishing stick (was that what it was called?), then gets another for herself. "Oclaw, so furst we have to spool the purreel. We start with opurring the tail arm. Then we tie the line... like cat. Now we claws the tail arm. Cut the line, but not too short! Slide the purreel into the pounce. Scratch the pounce tailt. Now just unclawp the line and open the tail arm, purrt the line through the line prides, claws the tail arm with cat much line clawming out of the top line pride. Tie on the purr. Tie the knot like this. Clawt off the leftopurr line, and now we can go furshing!"

As she was saying all of this, she was following her own directions, quickly leaving me in the dust.

While she excitedly looks over at me, I stare blankly at the fishing materials in front of me. "What exactly is the purreel?"

She giggles. "The purreel is the reel."

I start to sweat in the high humidity. "What is the reel?"

She looks at me surprised, then smiles. "If you didn't know what the purreel is, then why didn't you stop me, silly?"

"It would have been exceedingly rude for me to interrupt you, so I waited for you to finish what you were saying before asking questions."

"Well, fur now on stop me, oclaw?" she rolls her eyes, though she's still smiling as per usual.

I sweat more than previously. "Is that... a command?"

**I love doing Nepeta so much (even though I'm probably going overboard with the cat puns. :/).**


	9. RED IS A GREAT COLOR

**Hey, y'all! Guess what time it is~ Fanfiction time! So, guesswhatimahomestuck said last chapter was one huge block, and I'm super sorry about that! I'll try my best to fix it. I hate reading fanfiction like that. But Fanfiction and I just haven't been getting along as of late, so yeah. Hopefully it won't happen again, but no promises.**

**So for special people I'm gonna mention anyone who has reviewed/faved my oneshot, Dad, alongside people for this fic just cuz I know none of those special motherfuckers will ever be mentioned otherwise. So, special people who deserve glomps and digital cookies are: Lioness Deity (guest), renderingArtisan(my meowrial! X33), Dimple Bracegirdle, Flipnoteriversong, GamzeeMakaraBardOfRage, guesswhatimahomestuck, Dorodorocatchan.**

Terezi's POV

I am TEREZI PYROPE. I am a thin, fifteen-year-old NINTH GRADER. I have SYNETHESIA (a fancy word that means I can smell colors). I claim to be able to TASTE color too, but it's actually just an EXCUSE to freak people out. I am COLORBLIND. I am constantly wearing pointed-red GLASSES because they smell AMAZING. I have a great love for JUSTICE and DRAGONS. I also love to ROLE-PLAY.

I see Karkat looking back in the direction we had come from with an awestruck, relieved look on his face from the back of the boat. I silently walk up behind him, not making a single sound. On a certain level, I expect him to call me out on sneaking up on him like they do in the movies, but he doesn't. He remains completely wrapped up in his thoughts until I lick his cheek and teasingly say,

He makes a high-pitched, surprised sound before scowling and yelling at me (as usual).

I smile evilly, quite enjoying the way his already pale skin became paler than before.

He quickly glances around the area to make sure no one had heard. He shifts uncomfortably. I sometimes find myself wondering if he realizes that he's such an open book.

About a week ago, I had went to Karkat's house for a surprise visit, even though I know he doesn't like me coming over. It was three in the afternoon. I had banged on his door. I heard a lot of cussing and thumping from inside the apartment. After a few minutes he opened the door looking like he had just crawled out of bed. His eyes looked... Different than normal. Not to mention that instead of smelling like a dull green as per usual they had smelled red. I had been giving him hell about it ever since.

Luckily for Karkat, he doesn't have to find an answer to that question, because a voice is stage whispering from behind us.

Before anyone can stop her, she has jumped onto Karkat, who is an inch or two shorter than her and way thinner than her. Her weight pushes the two of them over the edge of the railing.

Nepeta can't swim.

I call for help of course. I can swim, but not well enough to actually help her. The others come rushing out immediately to answer my pleas. I look over the ledge into the water a little ways away from the boat. Eridan had stopped the boat the second he had heard me, but we had still moved a little away from the spot they had fallen. Nothing was out there.

Equius dives in without taking off his shirt. We all watch to see who will, no, when they will resurface. Oh, please don't let them die. My slightly more sensitive ears hear sputtering and coughing. I say so and keep looking, but I only see Equius coming out of the water, looking heartbroken. But... he's not coughing.

I look directly down and see Karkat clinging onto the ladder with one arm, while holding onto Nepeta with the other. A wave of relief washes over me.

Equius slowly realizes that they're okay and swims towards the ladder. He has Nepeta climb onto his back and wrap her arms around him. Both Equius and Karkat climb up the ladder. When Karkat gets on the deck, I hug him as tightly as I can.

I plan on saying something to show my appreciation of him, and how he's such a great friend. I plan on saying something life changing. I plan on saying something that might make the usually grumpy boy smile, but all I can really say is, "Red is a great color."

A raindrop lands on the top of my head.


	10. ALL OF THE IRONS IN THE FIRE

**Hey, y'all! Sorry for not updating last week. I was taking the time to read more of the actual comic because I am quite far behind... even though I've heard enough about what has happened in the comic that I may as well be up to date. XD**

**Anywho, I have one special person who deserves glomps and digital cookies. Their username is: JoylessCelebration.**

**Review me maybe?**

Vriska's POV

My name is VRISKA SERKET. I am in TWELVETH GRADE. I have long BLONDE HAIR and CERULEAN EYES. I have ALL THE LUCK. I love LIVE ACTION ROLE PLAYING and making MISCHIEF. I have always thought SPIDERS were really cool, and LAUGHED when the other girls were SCARED of them. When I was little, I wanted to grow up to be a PIRATE and sail the seven seas.

I don't want to be a pirate anymore. Ever since it started raining, the boat has been rocking back and forth and back and forth and back and forth and back and forth and-

I dry heave over the edge of the boat.

In the rain.

Alone.

This is soooooooo lame. Who would've thought that the girl who always claimed she'd be better than Blackbeard would have seasickness like this?

I close my eyes and focus on taking deep breaths. A hand gently settles itself on my shoulder.

"Go away" I say without looking at them. I don't want to be by myself, but I'd rather die than have one of the assholes on this boat see me sick as a dog over a little bit of rocking.

"I brought you some mint tea." a calm, caring voice says. "I remembered reading an article that said tea was a particularly efficent remedy for nausea, so I made some for you."

I crack open an eye to look at the person next to me. Kanaya Maryam. Of course. Who else on this boat would care enought to not only come out into the rain to keep me company, but also try to do something to make me feel better?

I try to play it off like her coming out here didn't just make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. "Mint tea?" I take the mug into my shaky hands. "Is it poisonous?"

She smiles softly at me. "Do you really suspect that I would purposefully poison you?"

I look at her suspiciously all the same. I peer into the light green liquid. The mint leaves are still in the mug. I take a small sip of the tea. It's not actually that bad. I continue to drink the tea.

Soon enough, my stomach settles some. Kanaya stays with me the whole time, always touching me in some small, soothing way- her hand on my back, standing just close enough to me so that are shoulders brush up aginst each other. We stand in peaceful silence, looking out at the rough waters, lost in our own thoughts.

She's the kind of person that doesn't have to say a word to tell you that she'll always be there for you. I just knew. And I think that even though I would NEVER say so to her, she knew that if she ever needed me, I'd always be there for her too. Always.

After an hour, I am one hundred percent back to normal, but I'm still quite content to just stare out into what seems to be an endless ocean. It's so big. It looks like it could swallow us whole, but I'm not scared. I'm not even slightly worried. I will handle ALL of the irons in the fire... you know... unless Kanaya is willing to stick around...

**I love shipping these two pale. X33**


	11. A BOMB TO EXPLODE

**Hey, I just wanted to go ahead and say that the entire fanfic isn't gonna go like this. I'm just taking the time to introduce all the characters and have a chapter from each of their perspectives. I promise this isn't a plotless, pointless fic. It will have purpose- once I've done chapters from Gamzee's, Kanaya's, Nepeta's, Tavros', and Aradia's perspectives. **

**Special people who deserve glomps and digital cookies: F4BP30PL3 and epiclicious. Keep bein awesome, bros. :o)**

Aradia's POV

My name is ARADIA MEGIDO. I am in the TENTH grade. I used to love ARCHAEOLOGY. Though I haven't been nearly as interested in it as of late, I still hold a general NOSTALGIC FONDNESS of it. Ever since... "the ACCIDENT" I have been able to see and hear the DEAD. I have not told ANYONE about this for fear of being sent to an ASYLUM.

I am absent-mindedly staring out the window, watching the waves. I hear someone approach me and stand next to me, but I ignore him or her. I don't feel like talking right now.

The person clears their throat., as a signal for me to pay attention. Why even do people do that? The person speaks, "Excuse me, Aradia?" I bite back a sigh and look to see who it is. It's a tall, muscular guy. I vaguely remember seeing him around school. Gym class, perhaps?

"This may surprise you because of your obviously lower status at school, but... I really like you, and let's face it, we're going to be on this boat for quite some time. So, excuse me if I'm being too blunt, but I was wondering if perhaps you'd be interested in being my girlfriend?" He looks like he's waiting for a bomb to explode in his face, and explode it does.

I stand and grab the collar of his shirt, bringing him down to my height. He looks so shocked. His brow perspirates heavily, though not too much heavier than the rest of him. I hear screaming... Oh wait. That's me.

I stop screaming for a moment and look around the room out of the corner of my eye. I see Sollux looking at the tall guy and I. He looks rather surprised, slightly hopeful. Oh, god. he thinks he as a chance with me... No.

I still really like him, but... Being around him is nerve-wracking all on its own. The memories he brings are terrifying, but the voices of the dead are worse than any memory my conscious mind could possibly hold. The voices are already loud enough with being on the same boat as him. I'm honestly not sure if I can handle being that _close_ to him again.

I hate to do it. I care about him so much. It wasn't his fault, but I can't tell him that, can't let him become close to me again.

I tighten my grip in the tall senior's shirt and kiss him passionately in front of everyone, Sollux included.

_"I love you... I love you. I love you, Sollux! I'm so sorry." _I think to myself as I kiss the guy roughly.

I glance at Sollux out of the corner of my eye while the sweaty guy is still shocked and dazed by the fact that I just kissed him without even knowing his name.

_"I love you..." _I look away.

**So, guesswhatimahomestuck... What now? C: Sorry 'bout the shortness of this y'all...**


	12. WHEN HE HACKED

**I know I haven't been updating quite right lately. Sorry bout that. School just decided to bitch slap me across the face lately so I haven't had the time or patience for my old, slow laptop so that I could deliver a new chapter to your inboxes. Thanks to any of y'all still reading this.**

**MyMightIsYours is the only special person who deserves glomps and digital cookies.**

Nepeta's POV

My name is NEPETA LEIJON. I am a NINTH GRADER, but people tend to think I'm MUCH YOUNGER between thje fact that I'm pretty SMALL and OVERLY-EXCITABLE. I love CATS with a passion beyond anyone else. I tend to use CAT PUNS in casual speech. I have a huge CRUSH on KARKAT VANTAS, but I don't think anyone knows other than my close friend, EQUIUS ZAHHAK. I enjoy outdoor activities especially HUNTING and FISHING.

Speaking of fishing, I managed to catch four Northern Red Snappers while fishing with Equius. I set Equius up to help me clean and gut them, but gently told him he could do something else when he hacked at the poor fish while trying to remove its scales. So here I am, messily removing their scales on my own. I'm grateful for the rain pouring from the sky in buckets. If it weren't for the rain, I don't know how I would clean the scales off. I enjoy the peaceful rocking of the boat while methodically cleaning and gutting each fish. I find myself thinking of the boat as a rocking chair or crib- nothing but soothing memories.

I hum to myself while I work until Feferi and Eridan come outside. I smile brightly at them, then go back to work. I overhear their conversation without looking at them.

"How are we supposed to know which way we're goin'? Everyfin looks the same because of this shitty weather."

"I don't know, Erifin. But it's not like we're going anywhere in particular, right?"

"It would be great if we could minnow where we are."

"But why is it so important? I thought you said we're not going back."

"I said we're not goin' back while it's still rainin'. But once it stops rainin', the end of the world krill be over, right?"

"Yeah, but..."

"But what? Don't you wanna sea if we can fin any survivors other than the assholes on this coddamned boat?"

Silence.

"We need to minnow where we are so we can make it back to Florida."

"So how can we figure out where we are?"

"I was hopin' you knew..."

I'm trying so hard, SO HARD, to not "c" my way into an a-b conversation (because Equius says it's rude), but at this point it seems rude not to say something. I finish gutting the last fish. "We're purrobably not too fur off shore from that group of small Latin Americat islands."

Eridan momentarily looks at me like I'm insane. "How could you possibly know that?"

"Diffurent kinds of fish live in diffurent purrlaces. I cat a lot of fish that are usually in the area, though I threw a lot of them back in beclaws they were too small." I say.

"That's great!" Feferi cheerfully chimes in. "Can you always shell us where we are based off the fish?"

"I can try." I smile.

"Sea? Look, Erifin. You're worrying for no reason. We'll find our way home."

He grumbles under his breath. "Yeah, if she doesn't get everyone krilled by pushin' 'em overboard."

My heart sinks. I'll have to be more careful where I pounce on people. We're not in Florida anymore, and for the first time in my life, it dawns on me that the world is a dangerous place. Karkat and I could have drowned.

I look out into the waters, which suddenly don't seem as soothing and peaceful as they did before. I hear Eridan and Feferi go back inside. I stare out into the rough waves for a moment, all of a sudden finding that I feel very small compared to the world.

**So tell me what you think. If you hate it, love it, whatever; drop me a review. **


	13. ENIGMA OF THE UNIVERSE

**Why is it that every time I try to type something on this pathetic piece of shit I call my craptop, everything fucking disappears the moment I attempt to save it? Such fucking bull shit. This is the second time I've typed this motherfucking chapter and I want to rip this gogdamn asshat of an electronic device to shreds then burn it until the sky is filled with smoke. Voila. Fucking smores will be made from the flames of this fucking craptop. **

**So sorry for my ranting. Here I am... Three days behind schedule. ;-; **

**To that guest person who said they want this introduction shit sped up so we can get to the good stuff... Your wish has been granted. This chapter will be an interaction of Pb&- *cough cough* Excuse me. An interaction between ****_Gamzee _****and ****_Tavros_****. ;) So these are the last two perspectives smooshed in one chapter, yes? Good? Good.**

**Special people who deserve glomps and digital cookies include: Wisteria (afore mentioned guest person), F4BP30PL3, Mollify315, and StellaNutella. Thanks for being awesome. B)**

Gamzee's POV

My name is GAMZEE MAKARA, a very TALL, LANKY SENIOR. I love to PAINT, and I'm pretty good at it despite what most people would think. I have a huge crush on TAVROS NITRAM. I am extremely SCHIZOPHRENIC, and I take some pretty high-dosage PILLS to make me more of a functioning human being. All in all, I'm a pretty CHILL guy. I have an appreciation for MIRACLES that most people think is bizarre. I am very PROTECTIVE OF MY FRIENDS.

I am currently in the middle of an epic rap battle with my one of a kind bro, Tavros.

"Bro, you're never gunna motherfucking beat me.

So why don't you just go cry all the way home?

Miracle-infused words, to you, from me,

Are better than your fairy tales from a dusty tome." I start.

"You think you're real cool.

You think you're real sweet.

All you are is a fool,

A clown with no beat." He continues.

"You don't seem to understand

Just what you're getting into.

Rapping is for a man,

Not pathetic, little you."

"I'm bigger and badder than ever before,

Yet you think you can call me small?

I've got your skill and more.

You can't stop me when I stand so tall."

"Stand back! I'm the leader of the dark carnival.

I'll rip you to shreds; you won't know what hit ya.

Your wimpy words I easily rip apart and maul.

And who are you: the king of Mardi Gra?"

I stop as soon as I see my best friend approach us. He doesn't look too happy, but he never does unless it's just me and him and I can trick a smile out of him. Whether he realizes it or not, I have made it my goal to make him smile at least once a day. He seems to need it, whether he thinks so or not.

"Can you idiotic douche muffins entertain yourselves for one gogdamn minute without spewing idiotic hoovebeast shit from your mouths like the dumbasses you are? For fuck's sake! Look around you and notice that no one wants to hear your pathetic excuse of a rap battle." Karkat fumes in a way that makes me wonder when his brain will catch on fire and the smoke will start to pour out of his ears. I take a moment to picture that, a widening smile on my face as I silently imagine putting him outside in the rain to put the fire out. I chuckle to myself, much to his growing anger.

"Gamzee, are you really so caught up in your sopor-influenced daydreams that your ignorant, lacksadaisical mind is beyond recognizing that someone is fucking talking to you? Why the fuck do I even bother talking to your high ass? Gog!"

He turns towards Tavros, who's fidgeting nervously. Damn he's cute. His eyes are so big; I could stare into them forever... "Why the fuck are you staring at me like I'm the enigma of the fucking universe? Grow a backbone, Nitram! Trembling in fear whenever anyone looks at you is not going to get you anywhere in life other than bleeding out in an alley somewhere because you were too much of a fucking idiot to realize that gaping at your attacker is not going to make them stop hitting you with a two by four so that they can steal your wallet from you once you're passed out or dead."

Karkat glances between the two of us before hesitantly speaking again. "Luckily, unlike any of the other idiotic fuckwads on this boat, I actually thought to bring something to entertain you two idiots so that maybe we might have half a chance at getting some peace and fucking quiet around here." He then presents us heaven.

Tavros brightens up considerably upon seeing the selection of Disney movies being offered to us. It's moments like these that make me wonder how it's possible that I'm the only one who sees that when you get past Karkat's "Fuck the world for being full of dumbasses, fuckasses, and asshats." attitude, that he is a really nice guy. Even when he's screaming in his face that he hates you, he still displays that he cares about everyone in any way he can. His entire facade has always seemed pretty pointless to me, but if that's what he wants to do, then I'm not going to hold it against him.

Tavros and I sit next to each other with Karkat's lap top resting in Tavros' lap. I use this as an excuse to lay my head down on his shoulder, causing him to blush. Our faces are so close together. If i just moved a little closer I could-

I notice I had been moving in to kiss him. Abort! Abort! I pretend I was just changing my position. I sigh almost soundlessly. Why the motherfuck does he have to be so adorable? And, more importantly, why does he have to be my best bro rather than my brofriend?

Tavros' POV

My name is TAVROS NITRAM. I am a rather TIMID SOPHOMORE. I love to ROLE-PLAY and read FANTASY NOVELS, especially the classics. I greatly enjoy ANIMATED MOVIES, though there are some unanimated classics such as THE NEVERENDING STORY that are pretty cool too. My favorite movie is PETER PAN. It is not uncommon to find me playing an RPG. I also secretly wish that I could FLY, though I know that will NEVER HAPPEN.

Gamzee and I sit down to watcha movie on Karkat's laptop. Just as I'm about to ask him which movie he thinks we should watch first, he makes himself comfortable and lays his head down on my shoulder. I curse my face for heating up. Why is his affection affecting me like this? It never bothered me when we were little. Heck, he would use my chest as a pillow when he would stay the night at my house; it had never even occured to me that there should be anything embarassing about that. This open affection was perfectly normal coming from Gamzee, so why is it that lately I've had a hard time thinking staright when he does this?

He starts to lift his head up. For a full two seconds, I would swear he was going to kiss me. But then he puts his head back down on my shoulder and mindlessly plays with the hem of my shirt sleeve. I convince myself that I'm relieved that it was nothing other than my wild imagination, but the flutterflies in my stomach are still uneasily protesting.

I put the Lion King in the laptop. The unskippable, pre-movie commercials start to play. I find my thoughts wandering back to Gamzee, to the excitement of the flutterflies in the depths of my stomach. I examine Gamzee out of the corner of my eye. _He's hansome. _The title screen appears and I quickly select play so there's no chance of him noticing that my mind was preoccupied with his face.

Slowly, I tune into the movie, always slightly aware of Gamzee's presence against my side. By the time that Pumbaa, Timon, and Simba meet, Gamzee has his arms wrapped around my waist and his head gently resting against my chest.

I can't breathe. I can't breathe and if I don't get up right now I am going to hyperventilate in fromt of him for no reason and he's going to think I'm out of mind and never want to talk to me again and I can't breathe.

"Excuse me." I nudge Gamzee. He looks up at me, smiling. "I want to geta drink of water. I'll be right back."

"Sure, my main motherfucker. Do you want me to pause the movie for you?"

"No, that's fine... I'll be back soon."

"All right. If you all up and motherfucking say so, bro."

He lets go of me and moves aside so I can get up. I immediately rush to the kitchen-like area. I'm free! The flutterflies in my stomach scream in rage at me.

I am such a coward.

**So does the long chapter (for me) get me off the hook? Also, who do you think won the rap battle between Gamzee and Tavros at the beginning of the chapter?**


	14. SHOT AND KILLED IN THE STREET

**It occured to me that technically there was supposed to be one more intro chapter, Kanaya's to be more specific... But I've decided to just skip introducing her, just because the intro really did drag on WAY longer than I had originally planned. I mean... This is chapter fourteen. Intro should be done. :/**

**Special people deserving glomps and digital cookies include: F4BP30PL3, chaosWatermelon, and catouis12.**

Sollux's POV

I had thought that I had come to a point where nothing Aradia did could surprise or upset me more than she already had. Apparenly I was wrong. How could she possibly avoid me, her closest friend since forever and boyfriend, for the arrogant, sweaty guy? What the fuck.

While she was screaming in is face, I had seen part of the aa that I know and love. I saw the passionate, independent person I grew up with. The girl who refused to go down without a fight, no matter how big and scary the opponent may be. Then she kissed him- raising my hopes higher than they have been seemingly since forever, then smashing them down into the ground in the next second.

That brings me to where I am now: laying face down on the bed in one of the guest cabins, desperately trying to claw my way out of my mind. I hate this. I hate this so fucking much. I want to cry and scream all at the same time. Oh wait. I already am crying. Damn it.

I sink into a feeling of despair. I'm not really aware of anything around me. I just lay on the bed, caught up in my depressing thoughts, uncaring of everything else.

"Seallux?" I hear a vaguely concerned voice from the doorway.

"Go away, Feferi." I plead softly.

I hear the door close. A weight dips down the side of the bed.

I sigh without lifting my head from the bed. "What do you want?"

"I saw you rush in... I wanted to make sure you were okay."

"I'm fine. You can leave now."

I feel her start to play with my hair in a weirdly soothing way. "Is it something to do with Aradia?"

I don't say anything.

"Come on, Sollux. Tell me."

"No."

Yet again, she becomes quiet for a moment. "You know you can tell me anything, right?"

I sigh, exhausted. "Why do you even care?"

"We're friends! It's my _job_ to care!"

"That thoundth really thtupid."

"But it's the truth." She giggles.

"I thtill don't want to talk about it right now."

"Okay... Just keep in mind that I'm here if you need me."

I hear an obnoxious voice, belonging to fish dick, call from the other room. "Fef!"

"You sure you're okay?"

"Yeah."

"Fef!"

She stops playing with my hair and slowly gets up from the bed. "Whale... Isle talk to you later."

"FEF!"

"Oh my cod! I'm coming! I'm coming! Geez!"

And with that she storms out of the room, leaving me to think that her laugh sounds a lot like aa's used to... But still, just not the same. An almost identical copy, but not the original. I lift my face up from the bed, then lay it back down again as a wave of nausea and pain rush through me. Who the hell is the asshat that invented migraines? That guy as well as his family, friends, and family's friends should be shot and killed in the street.

Fuck my life.


	15. RANDOMLY CUDDLING HIM

**Guest: Yes, the migraine inventor is my ota- one true asshat.**

**Special ****people**** person who deserves glomps and digital cookies includes: Guest.**

**On to the gogdamn story already!**

Karkat's POV

Oh my fucking gog. Why is Eridan screaming and whining like an idiotic piece of shit? He might own this boat, but someone needs to put his dumb ass in his place.

And I plan on doing just that. I storm over to the small room the boat is controlled from, planning the most creative insults imaginable. Lucky for Ampora, Feferi gets to him first. I linger in the doorway, just in case he starts bitching again.

"Fef, I'm tired. If I shell you how to drive the boat, can you take over for a whale?" Oh, yeah. I forgot. His voice is always obnoxious.

"Shore! Isle try my best."

He starts pointing out various controls. Feferi and I watch carefully.

"Ocray, fef. How do you go into reverse?"

"Um..." Her eyes dart around uncertainly despite the fact that Eridan just told her moments before.

I roll my eyes. I put the boat into reverse. "What kind of idiotic douchemuffin can't remember something that was told to them within the past five fucking minutes? Is your pea-sized brain so full of aquatic bull shit that you've gotten the memory of a fucking goldfish? Seriously, this isn't that complicated. Even Gamzee could figure out something as simple as following the directions given to you."

They both look at each other silently, then glance at me, then back again. I scowl. "What the fuck are you two saying in your telepathic-"besties" conversation? I swear to god, if you think _I'm _going to drive this stupid piece of shit just because Eridan is a whiny bastard who can't do anything for himself, then you had best think twice, because there is no way in hell you moronic douchenozzles, especially you, fishdick, could possibly get me to just do what ever the fuck you want me to do. All right? You might be older than me, but you are *not* in charge of me, and I refuse to do what you say. I will do what ever I feel like doing, so fuck you and your stupid expectations!"

* * *

><p>Ten minutes later, after much pleading and prodding on their part and much screaming and cussing on my part, I find myself sitting at the controls of the boat, fuming at the idiocy of the entire thing.<p>

Didn't Equius say he knew something about driving boats? Why the fuck was _I_ designated as the driver if he was just as capable? Gah, this is so fucking stupid! It would have made *much* more sense for Eridan to go directly to Equius rather than even bother trying to teach Feferi how to drive it. Why is it that everyone except for me is such a fucking idiot?

Why does anyone have to drive the boat if we don't even have a destination to drive to? Last time I checked, we're in the middle of the fucking ocean and we're never going back to Florida anyways. None of this shit even matters! What even is the point of liv-

Long, lanky arms wrap around my face tightly, blocking my vision. I panickedly thrash around. "Let me the fuck go!"

"Woah, chill yourself, Karbro." I calm down somewhat at the sound of Gamzee's rattling, cracky voice.

"Damn it, Gamzee! What the fuck did I tell you about sneaking up on me like that?"

"But I didn't all up and sneak up on you, best friend. I said "hello" when I came in. You were just so caught up in you're motherfucking miracle-making think pan that you didn't all up and hear me, Karbro."

I grumble in annoyance. I know what he's saying is perfectly reasonable, but he still scared the shit out of me, so it's completely unacceptable.

"Sorry if I all up and motherfuckin' scared ya, best friend." He smiles lazily at me. How the fuck does he read my mind like that?

"I was not scared! I was just- startled. That's all!"

"Of course you were." He picks me up, despite my superfluous complaints, sits down in my chair, and sets me down on his lap.

I glower at him. "What even do you want from me? What the fuck happened to your movie marathon with Tavros?"

"He all up and said he was thirsty. So he went to get a motherfuckig drink, but he never came back."

I think about that for a minute. "Were you attempting to cuddle with him or some shit?"

He shifts uncomfortably. "That isn't even on the motherfuckin' topic."

I look up (fuck him for being so goddamned tall!) into his eyes sternly. "Gamzee."

"It's not all up and my motherfucking fault. He's just so motherfucking adorable. How's a motherfucker s'posed to be that close to a cute motherfucker like that without all up and getting his cuddle on?"

I pat his head. "Chill your shit, Gamz. I'm pretty fucking sure that if you talked to him instead of just randomly cuddling him like an idiotic asshat that you might actually get somewhere with him."

"What ever you say, Karbro."

"I'm serious! In every single romance novel I've ever read, nothing happened until the main character confessed their feelings."

"Okay, I'll tell him... But for now can I just all up and chill in here with you?"

"I guess. Not like there's anything to fucking do."

He grins proudly. "I all up and motherfucking brought some watercolors and coloring books. I'll go get 'em."

I smile slightly. "Yeah, that wouldn't be so bad."

His grin widens some before leaving the room, assumably to get the paints and coloring books.

**Relatively long chapter to make up for my temporary absence?**


	16. SOME KIND OF TOUGH GUY

**Hello, my favorite motherfuckers. X)**

**Another-Serket is my one and only special person this chapter. For that matter, he/she/it is the only reason that I'm not fully emerged in writing more one shots. Seeing the emails about him/her/it reminded me that i do in fact have a multi-chap or two to be working on. XD **

**I am officially putting everybody's ages up right here so you can see them all in one place:**

**13**

**Karkat Vantas**

**14**

**Nepeta Leijon**

**Eridan Ampora**

**15**

**Terezi Pyrope**

**Feferi Peixes**

**16**

**Aradia Megido**

**Tavros Nitram**

**17**

**Sollux Captor**

**Gamzee Makara**

**18**

**Kanaya Maryam**

**Vriska Serket**

**19**

**Equius Zahhak**

Tavros's POV

Once I leave to "get a drink", I'm simultaneously grateful for the time to think and disappointed in myself for not just facing the situation head on. But then, what if there wasn't any situation to face head on in the first place. If I'm being honest with myself, this kind of thing really is perfectly normal between Gamzee and I. No, it's not that a situation has arisen, rather my own mind has decided to mess with me. Yeah, that's what it is: my imagination running wild yet again. It was nothing. He was just changing his position; there were no could-have-been-kisses.

My heart kind of sinks at that thought, though that's pretty stupid. After all, it should be a relief to be sure that my _best friend_ has no intentions of kissing me. I just have to keep reminding myself that he's my _friend, _and this entire thing with hiding in the kitchen because he was touching me is cowardly.

I find myself thinking of my super brave, awesome imaginary friend from when I was little, Rufioh. When I was younger, I had always tried my best to act the way Rufioh would. After taking note of the situation again, I find myself shaking my head, disappointed in myself. Rufioh wouldn't have hidden away like this even if his best friend (who I had named Horrus) had kissed him. I imagine Horrus kissing Rufioh while they watch some super cool adventure movie. Rufioh would roll with the punches. He would've kissed his friend and decided what was up and what was down afterwards.

I sigh and get myself a cup of water. I lose myself in my thoughts as I slowly sip on my drink, mindlessly staring off into space.

I'm startled from my thoughts when a girl I vaguely remember seeing around school waltzes into the room like she owns the place. My first thought about her is that she's hot. She's thin, but not stupidly model skinny to the point that she looks like she never eats. She's got curves that could kill. She's dressed casually: dark jeans, a t-shirt, and some blue converse. Her sky blue eyes, and flowing blonde hair make it clear that she is your stereotypical gorgeous. All of this deems one very important fact about her; she's a million miles outside of my league.

Sure, I've got the piercing and mohawk to say that I'm some kind of tough guy, but it's just a look. Anyone who knows me knows that I originally got the piercing because of a dare from my older sister, Tink, and I got the mohawk because my close friend, Aradia, claimed it would look cute on me. My appearance contrasts my personality in almost every way possible.

I shyly look at the girl over my cup. I awkwardly shift from one foot to the other as she looks me up and down and smirks. _Please don't talk to me. Please don't talk to me. Please don't talk to me. Please don't t-_

"Hey there, handsome." she purred. _Oh, god._

"Um, h-hi..." I manage to stutter out as she walks over to me. She has a sort of sway to her hips when she walks that makes it clear that she gets what she wants when she wants it from who she wants it from without exception.

"So, what's your name? I don't remember seeing you around before."

"My name is T-Tavros."

She rolls her eyes at my stutter. "I'm Vriska. You should hang with me some time. Maybe we could get the way you act up to par the way you look is." She moves closer to me. Even though she's still not technically invading my personal space, I'm left very uneasy. Something about her is just offsetting... dangerous even.

I'm not entirely sure how to respond to her insult-compliment, so I just look away and shrug. That's a safe answer for everything.

"Come with me. It'll be way better than moping in the kitchen like a loser."

"Um..." _What do I do now?_


	17. TAVROS HAS CANDY EYES

**It feels like it's been FOREVER since I updated this shit, but it must not have been considering that there are NO special people whatsoever. *uncontrollaby sobs in the corner* why? WHYYYYY? But whatever, man. It's totes chill. Yeah...**

**Please ignore my possible insanity in favor of reading this chapter. ^u^**

Gamzee's POV

After coloring in multiple pictures in an unrealisticly bright, happy theme, Karkat's stern look is piercing a hole in my skull.

"Come on, fuckass. Just go talk to him."

I look up from my work to see his usual scowl mixed in with a bit of pointed concern. "But you all up and said I could motherfucking hang out with you for a while, Karbro."

"And now it's time for you to stop being such an idiotic wriggler and man up. Go talk to him yorself, or _I'll _talk to him, and I'm sure that even someone like you, with a brain the size of the tiniest of peas, can figure out how abso-fucking-lutely *amazing* that would go."

I look at him like a kicked puppy. "But, Karkat-"

"No fucking buts! I swear to gog, if you don't hightail it the fuck out of here to go get it over with right now, I will kick your ass into oblivion and you will never get a chance with the love of your life or whatever it is you called him that one time."

My face falls into an uncharacteristic pout. "Okay," I reluctantly stand to leave.

I hear a sigh from behind me. "Look, it'll be okay, all right? I promise."

"But what is it that makes your miraculous think pan so made up that he won't just all up and tell me to leave him the motherfuck alone?"

"Have you *seen* the way he looks at you? It's straight out of a fucking rom com how big his eyes get when he's around you and how he's always oh so fucking excited to see you. Any old idiot paying any attention at all can see that he likes you."

"You sure, brotha? I been payin' all my motherfucking attentions to Tavbro, but I never see any of the miaculous shit you're talking about."

"I'm sure. Now leave."

"All right, Karbro. Maybe we could all up and motherfucking color together some more later."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." I chuckle at the barely there smile on his face.

I walk out of the room, planning what to say to him. How even do you tell someone that you think you love them anyways? I stand outside the swingy door leading to the kitchen area, thinking of various pick up lines. The only pick-up lines I can think of are so hackneyed and stupid sounding that he would probably think I was just joking. Besides, the only one that I can perfectly remember is, "Your eyes are blue like the ocean, and I'm lost at sea." Tavros has brown eyes, so that would be pretty stupid. They're more like Resse's peanut butter cups... Tavros has candy eyes. I mindlessly stand in front of the door, letting my mind wander to and from Tavros's candy eyes and various other normal things such as this.

"Gamz... What are you doin'?" I blink a few times, then look towards a motherfucker with a patch of bleach blonde in his bangs. I just raise an eyebrow at him and smile lopsidedly.

"You've been standin' there doin' absolutely nothin', and, in case you hadn't noticed, of all places, you're standin' in the doorway like a moron."

I look around somewhat surprised. "Oh," I chuckle. "My bad, bro."

He looks at me, not really seeming to know what to say. I just laugh and enter the kitchen, despite the odd looks he's giving me.

My light mood is abruptly ended when I see a blonde-headed chick standing about a foot away from Tavros.

Oh.

Hell.

Motherfucking.

No.

**I can see Gamzee as a ghetto chick. I don't know why, but that's just the thing that popped up into my head towards the end of this chapter so it just... happened. But the ones that are made on accident are usually the best ones, right? ;)**


	18. WHO THE FUCK WAS THAT?

**This story is becoming way more fun to write. CX**

**F4BP30PL3 is my one and only special person who deserves glomps and digital cookies! :33**

**Let's do this shit! Let's watch Gamzee and Vriska battle it out! This is gunna be epic! WHOO!**

Karkat's POV

Once Gamzee finally leaves to go talk to Tavros, I'm left to my own devices again. All that's ahead of us is open water, so I don't bother to steer the boat. I start to color in another of the childish pictures, but quickly come to the realization that it was only as fun as it was because of Gamzee's ridiculous antics. I glare at the coloring book in an attempt to make it catch on fire. Why the fuck not? It's not like the stupid piece of shit is actually entertaining me by not being on fire. When it becomes clear that the idiotic nooksniffers at school were wrong when they said my glare could make something explode, I slouch over to the spinning chair in front of the controls. I turn towards the window and watch as the rain steadily comes down.

I hear the wood behind me creak. Who the fuck was that?

Unknown POV

Yes, so far things seem to be going all right. The only issue so far is that stupid clown, Gamzee. I glance down at the list in front of me:

_Eridan X Feferi _

_Tavros X Vriska_

_Nepeta X Karkat_

_Sollux X Terezi_

_Kanaya X Gamzee _

_Aradia X Equius_

There is the issue of getting people like Gamzee and Kanaya or Sollux and Terezi to start talking to each other, but I'm sure that can be worked past.

It took a ton of planning and thought to come to the conclusion that this is the most likely scenario that would lead to the couples having kids. It's important that they have enough kids so that maybe- just maybe- they can prove that their undeserving planet should survive.

**PSYCHE!**

**No show down this time. And, yeah, I know it's short, but I wanted both of those POVs to be short and quick so I smooshed them in one chapetr and you only get about 350 words because of it.**


	19. THAT GUY

**I'm sorry for taking so long! When summer break came round life suddenly got very busy. I just couldn't get any time to myself to write! But now I've finally gotten away (I'm hiding in my closet.), so I will bring a chapter to all you lovelies and perhaps look into posting a oneshot or something...? I dunno. Maybe I'll post two chapters of this instead to make it up to y'all. We'll see how long I can stay hidden away without being expected to play Miss Hostess and entertain our guests, eh?**

**Anywho! Let's take a looksie at who special people who deserve glomps and digital cookies are... Two guests by the names of Guest and Anonymous reviewed. CX**

**Anonymous: You'll just have to wait to see who it is! It might not be either of the people you suggested. It could be one of the beta kids or one of the dancestors- or anyfin really! It will be fun. ^u^**

**Guest: I dunno, man... You're probably just shitting around... There's no way you could possibly want karnep of all fins... We'll see. C; In all honesty, *I* haven't even decided if that one's gunna end up actually being a thing or what. **

Vriska's POV

I've never been that impressed with a guy's looks before. There was always _something _that just wasn't what I would've been attracted to. I don't settle. I would've gone my entire life without a man without regrets if I had never met one to my liking. But this guy, Tavros, hot damn. You don't get much better loooking than him. When I first saw him, my main concern was that he would act like a dick. He _looks _like that kind of a guy, the kind of guy who thinks they're entitled to anything and everything, but first thing I started talking to him?

"Hey there, handsome," I say.

"Um, h-hi" he says shyly, looking at me through his eyelashes.

I don't think a guy like that would hurt a fly, much less a girl! Sure, that stutter of his is kind of annoying, but, all things considered, I think I could handle a little stutter in exchange for the good looks and implied sweetness. It's easy to see that he's _that guy_ who would do all the romantic bull shit that I secretly like without me having to embarass myself by saying I like it. He would be _that guy_ who would give his girlfriend roses on their monthly anniversary or hold her hand in the park. He is _that guy_.

Normally, I only flirt because it's fun to watch a guy squirm every once in a while. What can I say? It's a guilty pleasure of mine. But this time is different. I don't want this guy to walk away embarassed and confused. I want him to think that I'm not just some bitchy popular chick.

I walk a bit closer to him so that we're not talking all the way across the kitchen like a couple of retards. "So, what's your name? I don't remember seeing you around before."

"My name is T-Tavros." He gives me a shaky smile.

I roll my eyes. Okay, maybe the stutter is more than just kind of annoying. None the less, he's still probably better than the best catch I could have ever hoped for considering how guys are. The good looking ones are all assholes; the nice ones look awful.

"I'm Vriska. You should hang out with me sometime." I still feel like I'm yelling across the room because of the only slightly muted crashing of the waves, so I step a bit closer to him. "Maybe we could get the way you act up to par the way you look is." Wait, fuck. Don't say stuff like that! I like this one! Ugh! Real flirting is waaaaaaaay harder than just messing around.

He shrugs and looks at the floor uncertainly. I silently sigh. I guess it's too late to do anything about that now. On an impulse, I speak again, hoping to patch up the situation. "Come with me. It'll be way better than moping in the kitchen like a loser." I'm not entirely sure what or where I'm inviting him to, but I'm sure I can bull shit through that when the situation arises.

"Um..." A slight frown settles on my face as he nervously looks at his hands and fidgets. Did I come on too strong? _What do I do now?_

**I just felt the need to do this by Vriska's perspective. That way I don't make her into the ruthless bitch where PB&J is involved. I always feel like I'm too mean to her when there's a chance of PB&J happening.**


	20. HAVOC AND CHAOS

**Tumblr is too addicting. There needs to be a timer on my computer that makes it block Tumblr after a set amount of time so that I'll actually get crap done.**

**Anywho! Special people! Y'know-those weirdos who deserve glomps and digital cookies. Those people are: F4BP30PL3, Time to Be, curiosity's box, and Spy of Influence.**

**All right! Let's DO THIS!**

Gamzee's POV

I open the door to see that my favoritest Tavbro wasn't all by himself. Some blonde chick is in the room with him too, and he doesn't look too happy about it at all. At first glance, she doesn't seem to be doing anything wrong, but I still get the feeling that things aren't quite as fine and dandy as they might appear. After all, Tavros looks like he'd like to be anywhere else.

He looks away from the girl and sees me standing in the doorway. A show of relief plays on his face when he realizes that I'm there.

"Hey, my favoritest motherfucker." I say, making the point to look Tavros in the eye, not sparing a glance for Miss Blondie. "I don't suppose you could all up and spare a motherfucking minute for a brother, could you?"

"Yeah, sure," he glances back over to Miss Blondie. "Uh, sorry, but I-I gotta go."

She sniffs disdainfully with a slight pout. "Suit yourself, loser."

With that Tavros walked out, and I followed, sending a glance of suspicious curiosity at the girl still standing in the kitchen, pout replaced with a small, disappointed frown.

"So, whatcha all up and motherfucking been up to, bro?" I ask, repressing the urge to add on that he could have just said so if he didn't want to watch a movie with me.

"Well, I went to get a drink, and uh, well," his eyes dart away from mine guiltily, though I'm not sure why. "Well, eventually, Vriska came in, and she wanted to... talk to me." His eyes make it look like he's questioning what he's saying more than I am.

"Oh, you up and knew her?" I wouldn't expect Tavbro to know somebody like her, but I guess...?

"Uhm, not really? I mean she just came into the kitchen and started talking to me. It was kind of weird actually."

"Huh. M'kay."

"So, uh, did you finish the movie without me?"

"Naw, once I up and realized that you were taking a while, I motherfucking rewinded it back to where it was when you left. You wanna go watch the rest, Tavbro?"

"Sure," he flashes a dazzling, dorky grin and heads over to where we were watching the movie.

Karkat's gonna be disappointed in me for not telling Tavros I like him, but how the motherfuck am I supposed to say something that might make him stop smiling so big and happy-like? Besides, I'm not so sure he even swings that way in the first place. The whole thing is more of a disastrous gamble than I'd really like to take. In the mean time, I'll just see if I can sneak another cuddle during the movie.

Unknown POV

I frown, watching one of the four screens in front of me intently.

I know this is only the beginning, and things should get better as they go, but I'm still kind of worried about the Bard. This is only the first meeting between the Thief and the Page, and he's already screwing shit up. On the other hand, the Bard probably wouldn't have went to talk to the Page if it weren't for the Knight's persistance.

Ugh. This lie of thinking is entirely pointless anyways. I knew this was a delicate situation from the beginning, so I shouldn't expect everything to fall into place so quickly. After all, this has only been one day, and what's one day to a year? Certainly by then everything will fall into place. With this much planning, such a careful choice in people, how could it not go exactly theway I have it planned?

They might not know it now, but these kids are bound to cause the most havoc and chaos this planet has ever seen- pure beauty if I do say so myself.


	21. HER MOST HARDCORE POUT FACE

**Hello, strangers. I have dragged my ass away from my procrastination so that I can write another chapter of this story just for you. (I am so sorry this is so fuckin' late.)**

**Special people who deserve glomps and digital cookies are: sovaleika and heir of wind.**

Karkat's POV

_Once Gamzee finally leaves to go talk to Tavros, I'm left to my own devices again. All that's ahead of us is open water, so I don't bother to steer the boat. I start to color in another of the childish pictures, but quickly come to the realization that it was only as fun as it was because of Gamzee's ridiculous antics. I glare at the coloring book in an attempt to make it catch on fire. Why the fuck not? It's not like the stupid piece of shit is actually entertaining me by not being on fire. When it becomes clear that the idiotic nooksniffers at school were wrong when they said my glare could make something explode, I slouch over to the spinning chair in front of the controls. I turn towards the window and watch as the rain steadily comes down._

_I hear the wood behind me creak. Who the fuck was that?_

I turn to see who it is, but I'm immediately thrown to the ground. I hit my head on the floor board, making stars dance before my eyes. I'm still pinned to the ground by a certain someone- Nepeta. I should have fucking known.

"Gog damn it, is there any reason at all why you have to do that? You made me hit my head, dumbass." I growl up at her, trying not to let it show that she had genuinely scared me for a second there.

She backs off some, climbing off of me. "I'm sorry, Karkitty." She offers me a hand up, and the disappointed look on her face almost makes me want to take back my initial spout of idiocy. Almost.

I reluctantly accept her hand up and brush imaginary dust from my clothes upon standing. "What even are you doing in here in the first place."

"Well, I thought that you were purrobably getting pawfully bored being in this room all alone, so I came to keep you company." she says, brightening up considerably.

I huff exasperatedly. "I don't need a babysitter, Nepeta. I promise I am perfectly fucking capable of being alone for an entire ten minutes without some babbling retard marching their way up my ass and around the corner."

She giggles. "You know you're purrty funny. So, what do you want to do, Karkitty?"

"I guess if you really _have_ to stick around we can do something together, but I have no fucking clue what. It's not like there's really many options." I cross my arms.

"We could pawlways role play." she says, a hopeful gleam in her eye.

I groan. "Do we fucking have to do that?"

"Aw come on, Karkitty! Role playing is pawsome; you just don't see it beclaws you never roleplay with me." She sticks out her bottom lip, putting on her most hardcore pout face, but I'm not falling for it. Not this time!

* * *

><p>"But, Princess Kitten," I say dramatically. "How the fuck will we defeat the monstrous barkbeast? He's going to fucking destroy everything!" Fuck role playing. Fuck my life. Fuck past me for giving in to that gogdamned face.<p>

"I'm pawsitive there's a way! Maybe if the two of us work together we can win. After all, we're a purrty good team, Sir Karkitten." she smiles at me, clearly ecstatic.

"Are you out of your gogdamned mind? The battlefield is no place for a fucking princess!" Why the fuck does this little Hispanic chick have to be so adorable anyways? It's not even fucking fair to the rest of the world- especially not when the rest of the world is just trying to resist some stupid little pouty face.

"Purrhaps not for your ordinary purrincess it's not, but you know I am more than capable of taking care of myself. You don't have to clawddle me the way the others do." She looks into my eyes meaningfully, like this is the most important moment of her life.

I force a sigh out. "Yeah, I know that, but it doesn't change the fact that it's my fucking job to protect you." I mean, what the fuck does one gogdamn person need this much adorableness for anyhow? Seriously. If this shit could be bottled, it could be sold to ugly ass bitches all over the world for like a hundred dollars an ounce is not more.

She takes my hands in hers, and comes within a foot of me, still looking me in the eye in a way unnatural for any normal conversation betwen normal people unless they're lovers or something. "We can purrtect each other. Afur all, we make a great team. Don't you agree, Karkitten?" Wow. She's way too close . This is actually really uncomfortable. Fuck I hate roleplay. You can never tell what's supposed to be real or not.

A slight blush is starting to spread on my cheeks, against my internal pleading. Gog I hate this. I hate this so fucking much. "Yeah, I guess you and I aren't half bad in a fight together." I avert my eyes from hers. I'm going to fucking die. This is too much, and I am in well over my head right now. Why the fuck won't she stop _looking at me_?

I glance back at her, trying to figure out why she isn't answering. She's looking at me from underneath her lashes, biting her lip. Whatever she's thinking about must be pretty fucking important to her. I open my mouth to ask her what's wrong, and immediately close it when she crashes her lips down on mine.

In all the books I've read, this is the part where the person in my position calmly closes their eyes and kisses back. But of course, i'm too much of an idiot to do something reasonable like kissing the beautiful girl in front of me back. I just kind of freeze up, my eyes wide. In my head, I'm urging myself to move, but my body isn't cooperating. I stand there like an idiot while she steals my first kiss. When she pulls away a mix of disappointment and humiliation is spread on her face.

"I-I..." Tears start to well in her eyes. She backs up and turns to leave.

_DO SOMETHING! FUCKING DO SOMETHING, YOU NOOKSNIFFING PIECE OF SHIT!_

I grab her wrist and turn her around. This time I'm the one kissing her, and it's pretty fucking awesome. She's not as much of an idiot as I am, so she kisses me back. To my vague disappointment, I'm the one standing on my toes to kiss her. However that disappointment is fairly small, when compared to my glowiong joy over the situation. _I'm kissing the most adorable, sweet girl ever._

Have I ever mentioned how much I fucking love roleplaying?

**There ya go random guest. Originally, I thought Karnep would remain a onesided thing, but then you went and got me excited about the possibilities with all your gogdamed chanting. Be happy, motherfucker.**


	22. TOO DEEP IN THIS SHIT

**Heheh... hi... (please do not kill me i know its been forever school has been thoroughly kicking my ass and im fucking exhausted). So. Um. Imma just... list off the special pepople who deserve glomps and digital cookies... F4BP30PL3, Mobius Double Reacharound, nonexistentBeing (guest), and ShyMoon19. **

**nonexistentBeing: Not sure what bomb your talking about... but cool beans, anyhow. XD And Pop-Pop sounds like a very wise guy. Truly, only time will tell which ships will come true and which will not. **

**Let's fuck shit up. :]**

Dave's POV

My name is DAVE ELIZABETH STRIDER, and I'm basically the COOLEST KID in existence. I have multiple BLOGS and ONLINE COMICS that I update frequently. I wear TOTALLY AWESOME SHADES, a gift from my best bro, JOHN EGDERP, every day. I am boss at RAP BATTLES and MAKING SICK BEATS. I've lived with BRO ever since my PARENTS died FOUR YEARS AGO.

As of right now, I'm drifting off to sea with one of my four best friends, Rose. The other two are god knows where- probably off to sea somewhere too. I find myself thinking over the events of that day yet again...

_John, Jade, Rose, and I had been planning this ever since Jade, Rose and I had turned eighteen. As soon as we finished high school, we'd take a year break from schooling so that we could have a bit of fun and relax. We had decided we'd spend the summer chilling as we had in previous years. We spent the time saving up money from our various jobs so we'd have something to work with._

_Once school had started up for the highschoolers again (sucks to suck), we all got together to decide on what we should do. Jade, naturally, put forth the idea that we should do something at the beach since the rush of tourists left with summer vacation. I wasn't that huge of a fan of the idea, but Rose and John clinged to the idea like it could save their lives, so I was forced to go along with their beach shit._

_We had rented two paddle boats: one for Rose and I, another for John and Jade- one purple, one yellow. I immediately staked claim to the purple one for ironic purposes. Everything was totally set. We were racing out further and further, not entirely sure where our race was meant to end. We were paddling side by side, bickering and splashing each other like a bunch of six year olds. It was honestly just embarassing, making me glad no one else was crazy enough to be out on the water this early. _

_Everything was totally chill when outta nowhere dark clouds start filling the sky at a rapid pace. Rose suggested we turn back, and John seemed a bit doubtful, but me and Harley had gotten too deep in this shit. We were gonna race until one of us gave up. John gave into our competitive fun easily enough, but it was pretty easy to see Rose wasn't happy about it. Whatever. No way we were gonna let her fuck up our fun with her usual too-big-for-her-britches-attitude. _

_That's when it started raining. Soon enough, the waves were coming to be too much for our little paddle boats. Our two parties were split up; in moments, John and Jade were out of sight. I barely even noticed at the time. I was doing the best I could just to keep the boat upright. I had no control whatsoever over our direction. Rose and I tried our best to get back to shore, but it was too late. We were being swept off to sea. _

_Waves pushed and shoved our small paddle boat this way and that, making me feel as though my guts would come out just as readily as the contents of my stomach. One enourmous lurch sent the boat toppling sideways. I would've fucking drowned if Rose hadn't pulled me towards her, where she was gripping the boat like her life depended on it. Thinking back on it, it did. We would have died otherwise._

_I'd be lying through my teeth if I said I hadn't puked every bit of the big breakfast I'd had that morning out into the water. It was especially disgusting because I was in the water with my puke, and the waves wouldn't allow me to move away from the chunky mess. _

_My stomach settled with the waves. We were far from shore by the time the initial bit of the storm had calmed some. With Rose's and my strength together, we managed to flip the boat over. This made for a nice place to sit, but was otherwise useless because our paddles had disappeared into the water along the way. So we both laid down in the paddle boat, unable to stretch our legs out, but still apreciative of the rest._

_Still, there we were, in what seemed to be in the middle of the god damn ocean, water still pouring down from the heavens, keeping us thoroughly soaked and cold down to the bone and forcing us to flip the boat every minute or two to dump out the water. Waves still rocked the boat from side to side, leaving me queasy. I opened my mouth skywards and rinsed the taste of vomit out. _

_I remembered, with a lurch in my stomach, the shades normally perched atop my nose. Reaching my hands up, I felt that they were gone. Disappointment surged through me. Rose simply rolled her eyes at me. She unbuttoned the pocket of my cargos, pulling out my beloved shades. I took them thankfully and put them right back where they belong- on my face._

So here we are, laying side by side in this boat, letting it wander wherever the water would take us. As if we have a fucking choice in the matter. Carefully, Rose stands next to me. She stands on her toes, looking, supposedly, for a sign of land. She sits down on the seat, a look of vague disappointment and anxiety on her face.

"I can't see any land at all. We don't have any food, fresh water, paddles- anything of any practical use, really. God knows whether John and Jade are even alive." I just close my eyes, arms cradling my head from behind.

"Basically, we're fucked. We're fucked, and we're probably going to die in the middle of the ocean." Looking into the sky, I make out what I decide is a dragon... or maybe a girl.

"Are you even listening to me?" I pointedly look skywards, identifying a cat, a horse, and a two-headed monster.

"What are you even looking at?" Looking out of the corner of my eye, I see her crane her neck upwards.

"So far I've found a dragon, a girl, a cat, a horse, and some weird two-headed thing. Wait. There's a cute little crab over there. You see any totally sweet shit like me? You probably can't. After all, only really cool kids can see stuff like this. And -admit it- you're no cool kid."

"I see a boat."

"What? Bull shit. I don't see any boats." I carefully examine the sky with every intentions to find the boat and say it's something entirely different from her stupid shit.

"Not in the clouds, Strider." She shoves me, rolling those super rolly eyes of hers. "Look; out there." She points out away from the boat.

I sit up and scan the horizon, trying to not let hope rush in too quickly. At first, I see nothing. I squint my eyes this way and that, but I don't see a boat anywhere. Then, just as I'm about to tell Rose off for fucking with me about shit this serious, I see it. From this far, I'm not even sure if that's actually a boat, but it's something.

I haphazardly stand up, setting the boat rocking heavier than before. I attempt to regain my balance, but I end up dumping the boat upside down. Rose glares daggers at me, but her annoyance is short-lived as our attention turns back to the boat. Steadying each other, we stand on top of the flipped boat, hollering at the top of our lungs in the diore hope that whoever it is will hear our cries over the rushing wind, crashing waves, and the distant rumbling of thunder. We jump around and wave our arms as much as we dare.

Despite our half-assed caution, we fall back into the water several times with a sudden lunge of the waves. The boat is slick from the constant flow of water, making it that much easier to slip and fall into the water. The boat seems to be heading towards us, but that could simply be an illusion. We keep up our jumping around until Rose hits her head hard on the side of the boat on her way down. After that, we flip the boat back over so she can sit and regain her balance.

Now all we can do is sit tight and hope for the best.


	23. So, I'm a piece of shit

**To those who give any fucks,**

**I'd like to begin by apologizing.**

**I know it's been forever since my last update, and that, even before now, the school year made updates few and far between. This was not my intention ****_at all_****, but it still stands that that's how it is. There isn't really anything I can do to change that either. I also don't want to continue leading you on to think you're going to get an update anytime too soon, because more likely than not, you won't. **

**School has been kicking my ass way more than usual this year. I guess that's what happens when you start taking all classes on a higher level rather than a few here and there. So, realistically speaking I won't get the chance to write until I get a considerable break from school.**

**With this in mind I may be able to update around Christmas, assuming my Ma will give me some breathing room (and that my asshole of a history teacher doesn't give me a shit ton of work for the break). But that's not guarenteed either. We may or may not have family visiting us for that period, so *shrug*. Who knows what's gonna happen with that. The next long break isn't until the spring (which may still be filled with visiting relatives). The only absolutely, positively ****_certain _****time I'll have to write is the summer, which is obviously a long way off.**

**I hate to do this, but I'm gonna put this story on hiatus, and try to push forward with my other multi-chapter. With neither of them on hiatus, I'm getting nothing accomplished for either of them, and I know I can do better that ****_that_****.**

**So good bye until next time. **

**I'm sorry.**


End file.
